Like you, I hate spam. I’m talking about the email version – but I’m not a fan of the tinned meat either. But even with things that annoy us, there is always a marketing lesson. In this case, an email marketing lesson.
Email marketing, often called outbound marketing is the backbone for much of my clients’ marketing. Getting better at email marketing is always high on my to-do list.
Spam email is the best teacher of what NOT to do.
Here are seven things I learned from reading spam
- Don’t promise me the moon and the stars. It is a clear signal that you are full of cow manure. The bigger the promise, the more skeptical the message. Tell me you MAY be able to help me. To say that you have the secret to success is a clear signal to hit delete. Quickly.
- Please don’t act like we know each other because we know someone in common. Unless you tell me a short story about a mutual friend, how you met her, and your connection – I’m not falling for your little trick. Be truthful and honest – I wasn’t born yesterday.
- Don’t tell me how excellent my site is and that you just happened to stumble upon it. Come on – don’t treat me like an idiot. You are trying to sell me your services. Be a little humble – it goes a long way.
- Don’t write like English is your ninth language. Not every email has to be perfect, but numerous spelling and grammatical mistakes show that no one ever proofed your message. When your email feels like it was written by someone working in a sweatshop on some remote island, I quickly click delete.
- Don’t start your message Dear Friend, Dear Business Owner, or some other variation of the word dear. No one writes emails like that unless you are reading from a 1950’s grammar book on letter writing. Yesterday someone wrote – Jeffrey, my dearest marketing sage. Seriously – that’s your best message? Learn to write clearly by using a tool like Grammarly.
- Please don’t sell me a solution without first asking me about challenges, problems, and issues I have. Your email smells like snake oil. You can’t possibly understand my challenges – don’t pretend.
- Please don’t continue to email me that you didn’t hear from me even though I wrote back three times for you to take me off your list. By the way, if you don’t have a simple unsubscribe button on the bottom of your email, it’s a signal that you are a spammer. If there is no unsubscribe button, your email is toast and I will report it as spam.
Spam, Spam, Wonderful Spam
Writing needs to be human, not programmed. Don’t be afraid to learn from people who suck at what they do.
Learn by observing things around you. A terrible sales pitch, an overly aggressive salesperson, or a ridiculously annoying manager are great teachers.
Remember, what is a bad man but a good man’s teacher?
P.S. I forgot to mention that I learned yesterday that I’m related to a Nigerian prince and will be getting 30 million dollars in my bank account tomorrow.
Need help with your approach to email marketing? I can help.
You can set up a time to chat with me about your marketing challenges using my calendar. Email me jeffslater@themarketingsage.com Call me. 919 720 0995. The conversation is free, and we can explore if working together makes sense.
Watch a short video about working with me.
Photo by Hannes Johnson on Unsplash
