Is your instinct to feel threatened or to assume the best intentions?

Last week I read an email from a client. I thought he was angry. What happened?

The other day after I listened to the voice message a few days ago from a copywriter who was working with me, she sounds annoyed. Did I say something to frustrate her?

A few months ago, as I left the meeting with some colleagues, their body language made me feel like they were troubled by something but didn’t express it. Now, what – did I screw up?

And then I remember what my friend Anne Robie used to say. She managed the human resource department at a Nomacorc, where I worked for almost eight years.

Anne’s advice and words of wisdom were to assume the best intentions.

Assume Best Intentions

So, I reread the email, listened again to the voice message, and thought about the interaction at the meeting, and realized that if I assume best intentions, nothing was wrong. Perhaps they were rushed because they had a lot on their plate. Possibly, they had stuff going on in their personal life that I didn’t know about that made them tense and curt.  We may be missing social signals and misinterpreting their intention. People are stressed. Work is being disruptive.

Life has gotten complicated in 2020. Take a few deep breaths.

Practicing this notion of assuming best intentions is a powerful tool to help you avoid reading into situations. Not everyone crafts an email with care, and the pace of work often finds people darting back and forth among a myriad of activities.

I’m grateful for the wisdom I learned from my friend Anne during our time working together. This idea of assuming best intention has stuck with me and I share it often with clients and friends. Anne is a terrific leader and currently the Chief People Officer at Turnitin in California.

Next time you have one of these types of situations where you feel hurt, upset, or worried – channel the words of my friend Anne.

Assume the best intentions.

 

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Special Note: This blog appeared a few years ago. It is one of my popular posts so I am reprinting it to share again.